イヤよイヤよも好きのうち (Iya yo iya yo mo suki no uchi): This is what my Japanese friends said when I told them my boyfriend had sexually assaulted me.
The phrase directly translates to “Saying no is also an expression of fondness,” because in Japan, a woman’s “no” is often interpreted as meaning “yes” — it’s just that she’s too 恥ずかしい (hazukashii, timid) to express her true feelings.
In this sort of environment, where “no” can mean “yes” and vice versa, debate about sexual consent (性的同意, seiteki dōi) has had difficulty thriving. While the Harvey Weinstein case and the #MeToo movement took the West by storm last October, it barely caused a ripple in Japan — sex sells here, but frank talk about its dark side is less common.
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